Slightly Misaligned With Reality

A Comedy of Errors That Forgot It Was Funny.

Have you ever felt like you were replaying the exact same day over and over? Well, that’s kinda what I’ve been going through lately; every day feels like another Groundhog Day. I recently wrapped up the Netflix series for Little House on the Prairie, it was this exhilarating feeling. The people, the environment… it’s the first time in my life where I felt a sense of belonging and meaning. I didn’t feel like a complete circus freak for once. I kinda fit right in; it’s this combination of freaks and geeks with this flare of hippie vibe in the mix.

I’m kinda grateful to be unemployed at the moment. I definitely hit autistic burnout. Do you remember that feeling when you just hit eighteen, you just graduated high school, you’re in this sense of bliss, excitement, nervousness, having this attitude of “I’m going to conquer the world” with endless possibilities in sight? I’m in this unique situation where I know I’m closing in on my first quarter million dollars. I kinda realize that’s not normal for my age. I know my employment insurance will run out by June of 2026.

I’m honestly kinda lost at the moment, almost in no man’s land, but there’s a fork in the road. Should I go left or right? I’m not sure. I recently got a job offer for season three of The Last of Us; it's in Vancouver though. My hesitation in going that direction is having to uproot my whole life and losing the support system of my family. I also know there’s a really high likelihood of season two of Little House on the Prairie starting in February or March, that’s another direction to go in. I could also go back to my old employer and finish up the apprenticeship hours, even though I’d probably be miserable. I might just ride out employment insurance until June. Who knows? Maybe I’m gambling and overplaying my hand.

I’m in this weird paradox of choice where I have this crazy amount of free time at the moment. It’s an insight into my future where I know I’ll have the free will and flexibility to do what I want. I honestly think around thirty-six to forty I’m going to be a millionaire. I’m now realizing how incredibly boring having this amount of free time is. You have to occupy the mind by doing something.

After waking up, I head straight to the gym and do my 20 minutes of cardio along with working out one muscle group. Then head straight to the library to study for my third attempt of the Red-Seal Carpenter exam. I find it really comical how bad I am at taking tests; I don’t think dyslexia helps though, laugh out loud. Usually I head home with a book in hand and start reading for a couple of hours. I’ve been trying to dabble in writing lately. I usually relax for a bit watching this anime called Hunter X Hunter, and that’s my day.

I think there’s beauty in the mundane, ordinary little habits; these are the things that build character, the person you’re going to become when you take a hard but necessary look in the mirror. Now that takes us back full circle to Groundhog Day. Bill Murray plays this character Phil that repeats the same day over and over. I’m noticing a juxtaposition or contrast between me and Phil at the moment. You see the same people every day with the same patterns, with slight nuanced details in between. I think it’s quite fascinating.